"Post this sappy, unsubstantiated bullshit to your wall for at least one hour to show support for some dubious cause. I'll know who my real friends are by who posts this picture to their wall."
One of my friends has become more than a little spammy on there lately, posting almost nothing but sappy, emotionally-manipulative affirmations. You know, standard Facebook faecal material. One of the ones he just did this morning was about first responders, ending with "They are here for you. Share if you agree & want to thank them!!"
These are like those "thumbs up if you are reading this in 2012" posts on Youtube.
Anyway, the first one on the list read: "That police officer that you called a jerk for writing you a ticket, just spent 3 hours on the scene of a wreck, where a drunk driver killed a family of four." (Yes, it had that extra, comma in the middle.)
How I responded: Wait, so what this tells me is that every time a police officer writes a ticket, a family family of four dies somewhere on the road? These fuckers need to stop writing tickets before they kill us all!
How I thought about responding: Maybe you didn't call him a jerk because he was writing you a ticket that you deserved, but because you recognized him from a rally a couple of months before. He was one of the goons who brutally pulled you out of a peaceful protest, pepper-sprayed you and beat you badly enough to result in permanent nerve damage in your left arm. Maybe you're also a bit miffed because other than a week of paid leave while they investigated his actions, he suffered no consequences for his actions. Perhaps you're irked because the protest you were at was about cuts to benefits and pensions of civil servants that includes his benefits. Maybe you called him a jerk because he is a psychopathic, amoral jerk in a position of power. Or that whole "family of four" bullshit too I guess.
Other than a bit of dirty slush along the sidewalks, this is how our city looks these days. This isn't winter. I don't rightly know what one would call this, but it's not winter.
A co-worker and I walked up to a regular haunt for coffee the other day. We were both a bit peckish, so we decided to get scones. After looking them over, we changed our minds and decided to split a scone. These were not ordinary scones, these were sconezilla - as delicious as they were huge though.