the Sweet Smell of Burning Fur (plonq) wrote,
the Sweet Smell of Burning Fur

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A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste

I am used to getting email forwards from some of my co-workers (usually lame jokes, or misguided rants with lots of bold text, colourful fonts and bad formatting). While this one is no less lame than most of the others (for the record I did not add my name to the spreadsheet and forward it along), it tripped the "dirty old man" gene that permanently resides down in the reptilian portions of my brain. First, here is the question:

Okay are you smarter than a 5th grader....?

This is a 5th grade math problem. If you can open the spreadsheet,
you'll see it's a very small list of people who have gotten the correct
number. This is not a trick question. This is a real math problem so
don't say that the bus doesn't have legs.

There are 7 girls in a bus. Each girl has 7 backpacks. In each backpack,
there are 7 big cats. For every big cat, there are 7 little cats.

The bus driver is not in the bus at this time.

How many legs are there in the bus? (The number of legs is the password
to unlock the excel spreadsheet. If you open it, add your name, save it,
and then send it on to see who else can unlock it.)

Girl legs = 14 (7 * 2)
Big cat legs = 1372 (7 * 7 * 7 * 4)
Little cat legs = 9604 (7 * 7 * 7 * 7 * 4 )
Total legs = 10,990

The problem is pretty simple. I didn't bother pulling out a pencil or paper for it - I just dropped the numbers into Excel and it literally solved itself. Once I had unlocked the spreadsheet I spent a couple of minutes scanning down the list of names in it. After reading some of the self-depreciating comments people included next to their names, I became a little depressed. It is one thing to admit to one's ignorance, but quite another to take a perverse glee in it.

"Lol. It took three of us over six hours to solve this one!"
"I had to get a co-worker to help, and it took him forever too!"
"Thank God my fifth grader daughter was here to help me!!!"
"Math is hard!"

After a few comments along that vein I had to close the spreadsheet again before I caught TEH STUPID. Still, the problem nagged at that naughty little corner of my mind that I mentioned earlier.

"Yo plonq, dirty little sub-conscience here. I dug up some awkward thoughts for you. Enjoy."

"Go away, and never return!"


Okay, fine. here is what came bubbling up out of the perverted little mind as I was solving this one.

If all the cats are females too, how many pussies are there on the bus? Assuming that the bus is of standard dimensions, and an enclosed environment, multiply this answer by the PPM of free-floating oestrogen on the bus to get the password to unlock the spreadsheet.
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