Thank you for your interest in applying for our police force. Since you have a pulse, you have passed the physical requirement to join our force, but we must put you through a quick aptitude test to see if you meet our stringent requirements.
Please consider the following scenario:
We have received reports from concerned citizens about a child walking along a highway overpass. When you arrive at the scene, you find a 16-year old male lying under the overpass with a broken back, broken heel, punctured lung and other obvious signs of trauma. He appears to be delirious and is and is muttering incoherently about "killing cops" and "shooting cops". Do you
a) Assume that he is on drugs and cuff him?
b) Beat him unconscious to make him easier to handle? (People in shock can be such pests!)
c) Taser him 19 times for "failure to comply"?
d) Taser him 19 times and claim it was to stop him from darting out into traffic? (Those pesky people with broken backs; always darting about!)
e) Recognize that the young man is obviously injured and call for medical help... naw! Just kidding, Taser him!
If you answered c or d to the question above, you may just have the right stuff to be a member of the Ozark Missouri Police Department. Don't worry if you answered a, b or e because there still might be room for you on our force.