the Sweet Smell of Burning Fur (plonq) wrote,
the Sweet Smell of Burning Fur
plonq

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Bonsai Data

While formulating a reply to my team leads about why I could not get any meaningful hump data on a scale test car from the start of this year, I got tired of using phrases like "our data retention sucks on status events" or "finding the data I need from this dataset would be like finding a cut diamond in a pile of yak dung."

Instead what I said was: In many respects, the [redacted] tapes are our data equivalent of a bonsai tree; trimmed to the point where they serve no function beyond the purely ornamental. They make you feel good about being able to run queries against truly ancient data, as long as you are not too concerned about the data being complete or useful

To illustrate my point I presented them with some sample output sculpted into the shape of a duck.
ImageDuck
I assured them that the sculpting thereof took very little time, and resulted in no significant data loss.
Tags: duck
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